I remember going to the Carnival (Super Ex) with my son a few years ago. I was so excited to get on the rides with him. I was bent on having an amazing day.... and crawling back to the house, completely worn out.. as I'd done in years past.We went on a few rides.. the Ferris wheel, the tilt-a-whirl... Gravitron.. or whatever it's called now. Then.. I wanted to go on the Hurricane.... It used to be my favorite ride. :) I was always in the 'Squish' zone.. because I was the biggest.
Anyways... Zak and I pranced *okay.. I pranced... he ran*... over to the Hurricane ride... showed our bracelets.. and got to the first available car. I climbed in... Zak climbed in.. and we pulled the bar down... well... we 'tried' to pull the bar down. It didn't happen. I sucked my tummy in... still didn't happen.. By this time, the ride was now full.. every car was full.. and the Carnies were going around making sure everyone was securely fastened in their cars. I was mortified....To make a long story short.. because I truly don't want to go there... we had to exit the ride in front of everyone because i was too big. :(
I was so humiliated.. devastated... I didn't go on any other rides after that. I let Zak go on his own as I sat and waited.. and held back tears of embarrassment.. hoping nobody would see. I wanted to sink beneath the ground.
After that experience, I was bound and determined to get hooked up with a gym and lose weight. There was NO way I was going to go through that kind of an experience again.
A few days later, I got a membership at a local gym. To my dismay, though, there were certain machines I couldn't use, as my weight exceeded their limitations. I felt so stuck.. and, once again, stupid. The trainers at the gym tried to explain to me that the stress caused to the machines by the excess weight could cause them to decalibrate or, worse, break... and it was a big expense to have to replace them.
In other words, I would have to lose weight in order to go to a gym and use machines that would help me to lose weight.
I've been thinking, lately, about how much excess emotional weight I've been carrying in my heart and in my mind. Although not physical, it is a tangible, palpable.. and, possibly, measureable weight that causes my shoulders to sag, my back to curve.. and my feet to drag.It is a weight that causes my eyes to tear up, the corners of my mouth to furl downwards, and my gait to turn to a shuffle. It is a weight that clouds my countenance, and affects others around me. It is a weight that turns my positive to negative. I know people want to help me carry this burden, but there are no handles... so they can't.
Today.. I want to let go of that weight. I want to respect the limitations that God placed in my heart.. in my mind.. in my life. Today.. I want to turn this weight over to the One who can bear it without effort... the One who longs to see me unchained... unbound... free!!!! I urge you to do the same.
Today.. respect the weight limitations in your heart and in your mind.
Give it to God.
He can handle it. He wants to take it from you.
